tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60979604345521666622011-07-31T14:18:28.956+08:00有时候觉得，医学院的老师都挺有说冷笑话的天赋……Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.comBlogger151100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-46345828384233356772009-10-17T17:20:00.002+08:002009-10-17T17:37:54.531+08:00<p>Hi, everybody!</p> <p>I have switched this blog to <a href="http://twitter.com/DrsLameJoke">DrsLameJoke</a>@Twitter.</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-4634582838423335677?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-27827236784965105012007-05-22T18:19:00.000+08:002007-05-22T18:24:35.922+08:00上海交通大学附属第一人民医院骨科曹云老师：“我以前带过医疗队进山里，那里的人一年都不洗一次澡。手术前给他们消毒，就看见那棉球越动，‘有形成分’就越多 。”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-2782723678496510501?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-15147739450123368662007-03-29T08:47:00.000+08:002007-03-29T08:51:49.071+08:00上海交通大学医学院附属瑞金医院周俊老师：“瑞金的 BBS 上面经常可以看到像‘又一位富有才干的青年医师离开了我们的队伍’这样的标题，而我也总是说：‘瑞金医院最不缺少的，就是有才干的青年医师……’”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-1514773945012336866?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-60128271043065851072007-03-06T13:04:00.000+08:002007-03-06T13:09:03.220+08:00上海交通大学医学院组胚学张君慧老师：“视锥细胞里面共有三种感光色素，红敏色素、蓝敏色素、绿敏色素，如果少掉其中一种，就会引起相应的色盲。色盲是不能考医学院的，即使误考入也会被强制转专业，否则以后到了急诊怎么办？把流血当成流水的……”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-6012827104306585107?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-65028451321925059302007-03-02T22:45:00.000+08:002007-03-02T23:33:48.309+08:00上海交通大学医学院组胚学冯京生老师：“你们都学过生殖系统了，我提个问题你们思考思考。现在国内外大多数节育方法都适用于女性，那么你们能不能根据你们所学过的知识，想想看有什么方法能够适用于男性？”L 同学：“热水袋！”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-6502845132192505930?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-47551149268139140922007-02-16T12:23:00.000+08:002007-02-16T12:26:36.649+08:00上海交通大学医学院药理学陈红老师：“合理使用药物非常重要，你们一定要认真考虑，毕竟不会有那么好的病人，来看病还对你说：‘医生,我交感神经兴奋引起高血压，你给我开点 β 受体阻断药吧!’......”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-4755114926813914092?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-35440997709970197092007-02-12T16:16:00.000+08:002007-02-10T22:39:23.035+08:00瑞金医院心脏内科病房见习。M 同学（神秘兮兮地对 L 同学）：“你有没有闻到这个病人身上有一股怪怪的气味？”L 同学（犹豫半天）：“不好意思，其实是我午饭时候韭芽吃太多了……”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-3544099770997019709?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-88308133567440601212007-02-10T22:38:00.000+08:002007-02-09T15:46:07.009+08:00瑞金医院内分泌科宁光老师：“（指着一个女性 11-羟化酶缺陷患者的照片，该患者正抱着孩子哺乳）你们看这个人是男的女的？（11-羟化酶缺陷会导致女性男性化，该患者胡子很多，故众人回答：男性）男的？（指向小孩）那这是什么？（由于图片较小，众人分辨良久，回答：婴儿）对！（指向稍上方的乳房）那么这又是什么？（众人看不清楚，犹豫）你们不会告诉我是‘小孩上腺’吧？”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-8830813356744060121?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-7705407407752140332007-02-09T15:45:00.000+08:002007-02-08T15:14:42.562+08:00瑞金医院内分泌科刘建民老师：“现在病人太难伺候，动不动就说医生侵犯了他什么权、什么权。上次我在急诊，一个小姑娘喝了农药自杀，送过来要洗胃，我就帮她插管子。管子还没插进去，人倒醒了，第一句话就是：‘医生，你不要救我，救活了我要告你！’……”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-770540740775214033?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-32956332726210753952007-02-08T15:14:00.001+08:002007-02-06T18:59:37.553+08:00瑞金医院内分泌科刘建民老师：“医生有时候应该学会摆摆‘噱头’，比如说病人一张嘴就有酸味，你就拿着听诊器装腔作势听听心脏和肺呼吸音，然后问病人，是不是胃不舒服。病人会想，你这医生行的，听听心脏和肺，竟然听出我胃不舒服。”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-3295633272621075395?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-28033188779790571412007-02-06T18:57:00.000+08:002007-02-06T18:59:37.602+08:00瑞金医院内分泌科刘建民老师：“（上海话）现在瑞金医院外地病人越来越多，有时候语言也会出问题。上次来了个病人，我给他一个玻璃瓶放小便，和他说：‘你到厕所去小一小。’他就去了，出来一看，瓶子是空的，我就说：‘你怎么小的啦？再去厕所小一小！’他又去了，出来还是空的。我很生气，就说：‘你怎么小的啦？对着瓶子小呀！’结果出来仍然是空的，我就问他：‘你到底是怎么小的？’这病人告诉我：‘我就对着瓶子‘嘿嘿’笑了笑。’”（上海话里“小”和“笑”同音）<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-2803318877979057141?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-81214270148364954352007-02-05T19:07:00.001+08:002007-02-05T19:07:52.330+08:00上海交通大学医学院陈国强副院长：“我发现现在的男生越来越像上世纪的女人，女生越来越像 22 世纪的男人！”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-8121427014836495435?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-8042574454123219892007-02-04T21:51:00.001+08:002007-02-04T21:51:44.634+08:00瑞金医院血液科张莉老师：“‘铁公鸡’大家都晓得的，那么‘糯米鸡’呢？告诉你们，‘糯米鸡’就是平时一毛不拔，还老是想着揩别人油的。”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-804257445412321989?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-27310796659478792652007-02-03T14:40:00.000+08:002007-02-03T14:41:15.612+08:00瑞金医院血液科张莉老师：“病程记录是非常重要的，以后大家千万不能忘记写，哪怕是再小的事情。我们科有些医生就是不喜欢多写，所以每次惹麻烦都被要求留下来写‘回忆录’。”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-2731079665947879265?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6097960434552166662.post-43235442433576084392007-02-01T14:19:00.000+08:002007-02-01T14:21:21.244+08:00瑞金医院血液科张莉老师：“我和你们说啊，如果病人发生了 DIC（弥漫性血管内凝血，一种以继发性纤溶亢进为主要机制、出血为主要表现的急性综合征），一定要尽快处理，否则就会发展成 D-I-E。”<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6097960434552166662-4323544243357608439?l=jokeinmedicalschool.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Klaithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17573506552136251846noreply@blogger.com0